I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin DeGraw

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from


I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me


I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me


Can I have everyone's attention please
if you're not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be... hey yeaaah
I don't want to be... hey yeaaah
I don't want to be



*gw bangeeeeettt...!!!! :p*

Since You've Been Gone

Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say Is
how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first timeIm so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

-Kelly Clarkson-

MENIKAHIMU

Menantimu...
Hingga saat cintaku temukan dirimu
Usai sudah
Sampai di sini
Berdiri melabuhkan asmara

Menikah denganku
Menempatkan cinta
Melintasi perjalanan usia
Menikah denganmu
Menetapkan jiwa
Bertahtakan kesetiaan cinta
Selamanya

-Kahitna-

mmmhh...kapan ya ada yg bilang seperti ini ke gw??? hehe..:P

SIMPAN SAJA

Selalu saja kau dapat membuatku maafkan salahmu
Dan kini kau ulangi salahmu itu-itu saja
Kecewa ku dibuatmu, terluka karena sifatmu
Dan kini ku tak mampu bertahan lagi, ku akui dirimu pernah berarti
Dan memang hidupku hampa tanpamu, namun lebih baik ku sendiri
Simpan saja rasa di hatimu, sudah lupakan hasratku
Tak lagi untuk saling mencinta, sudah sampai disini, sudah sampai disini


Gila nih lagu gw bgt! for you-know-who, this is for you:)

CINTA SENDIRI

Kau ungkapkan kepadaku
‘Kan ada saatnya nanti engkau milikku satu
Ku menunggu dalam bimbang
Adakah sesungguhnya aku
Kasih yang kau inginkan
Biar aku pergi, bila tak juga pasti
dakah selama ini, aku cinta sendiri
Biar aku menepi, bukan lelah menanti
Namun apalah artinya cinta pada bayangan
Pedih aku rasakan
Kenyataannya cinta tak harus s’lalu miliki


Jujur aku tak yakin bisa
Jalani hari tanpa dirimu ohh…
Namun apalah artinya cinta pada bayangan
Biar aku yang pergi, bila tak juga pasti
Adakah selama ini aku cinta sendiri
Biar aku menepi
Namun apalah artinya cinta pada bayangan
Oh… pedih aku rasakan
Kenyataannya cinta tak harus s’lalu miliki

Dear my cs,

my beloved cs who loves eating so much(yipee..finally we do have something in common:p),

i promised i will try hard to learn how to cook delicious meals for u :) padang food..with the so many spices and complicated step in the cooking process..it takes time but i will try my best.please pray for me..hehe!

i do the cooking n u'll do what? the clean-up? :P

The Essence of Faith

What is the deepest and truest meaning of those strings of letters? I used to think that I was a believer, that I easily believe in people, especially of what they’ve said. But now, it came up to me that believing/trusting/having faith in people isn’t simply relying on the words they said. I’ve just realized that there is something bigger and deeper than all of that. Faith comes from within. I bet that we may find it easier to trust people from their verbal action. But what if you are faced with a bigger problem (at least I thought so)?, where the matter gamble your entire life? To be more specific, in choosing who’s the one you’re gonna end up with a.k.a. hubby or wife. No matter how much you love the person, if you can’t have faith in him/her, I say it would be so hard for you to continuing the relationship. It’s love versus reality. You are probably confused with statements mentioned above. But I’m pretty sure that some of you might have been in this situation, or may have heard about it somewhere. Let me put it this way. You really love someone(at least that is what your heart tells you), but for certain reasons you’re just losing faith in him/her, losing faith that you two would make a good combo. That it’s just gonna be hard for you to believe that his/her love to you would last forever. You’re just losing faith that he/she will treat you good now and then, that he/she would make you happy, and so on… I dunno whether or not it is losing faith? Paranoid? Or pessimistic? Well, whatever it is that you decide, I’m sure it’s based on your prior knowledge of such things. Well I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe all of your disbelief toward a certain person was because of what he/she has done to you, which causing you can no longer live up your faith in him/her anymore. I just get it now that ‘faith costs a lot’. I realized we might hoping that there would be a second chance, which everybody deserved. But there is also the first time in everything we do, and we’d better do it good then! Just in case…:-)

He’s just not that into you Is it a ! Or ? Birthday-Worst-Case-Scenario

It’s your Birthday. Your significant other (SO), the one you love and (you thought) love you in return didn’t give you a birthday present. How would you feel? At that moment, you, as a person who considered yourself belong to the type of person who thinks that a birthday is just the same as any other day (ffuiih..), would have taken it casually if you were in that situation. But that was way before you experience it yourself and rethink about it thoroughly

Does anyone know why a SO might do that?? Is that one of the symptoms of a ‘he-is-just–not-that-into-you’ phrase?
Thinking positively, he might have been out of cash. Or even more positive, he probably has bought the gift and save it to be given later as a surprise. Or, probably it’s only you who’s taking it personal.
But still, it doesn’t make any sense in your cognition system (halaaah…). If he was running out of money, how come he didn’t prepare for it earlier? Why didn’t he save his money from weeks before? Though you did hear him say several times about giving you a birthday present. But when the day comes? It’s a capital nothing
In addition to that, you also thought that he should have given you a present since he knew that you were about to leave town for quite a long time. (So what gitu loh!)
After you are tired of rationalizing excuses, you can’t help yourself from thinking negatively. Starting with “he doesn’t love me like he always says”, “well, maybe he do love me, but not as much as I thought/expected/as much as I do”, or “I’m not that important to him”, or “he is not that attentive nor care enough” and bla bla bla …
And you keep saying “it’s not like I wanted a present!” But the fact that he put less effort into it, into you, and lack of attention, which finally lead you to the thoughts mentioned previously. Those are the matters!
So, what are you then? A double-standard gal? Who thought of yourself as different from others but as a matter of fact you are just like common people who expects birthday presents, and of course, expects so much love in return…

This writing would probably lead to another reflection ‘WANITA:Lain di Mulut, Lain di Hati???’
Quotes of the day ^Tidak ada orang lain yang bisa BENAR-BENAR membantu kita melainkan kekuatan dalam diri (inner strength)
^Follow your heart, try your best, take a risk, or you’ll never know…

You Only Want Me When You Can’t Have Me!
A story of two different fellas

1996
You had a boyfriend, he knew.
But he kept calling you to your house phone
Your boyfriend was his friends too, of course he knew that.
But he had piles of your picture in his wallet
You had a boyfriend for God’s sake
But he kept coming to see you at your house
Still 1996 You broke up, he knew that
But he never called
You had no boyfriend, he still knew that
But he never came
Time passed by for God’s sake
And still, you didn’t know what this was all about

2006
You had a boyfriend, he knew
You had a boyfriend; he was around
You broke up, he was there cheering you up
You are with him; you both could have been really happy ever after
He wanted you and him to be friends; he said he would still be around
You are crumbled; he had no idea how hard it was
Still 2006
You have a new boyfriend; he was devastated
You have a new boyfriend; he was always around
You have a new boyfriend; he still treats you as if you two were still together
You have a new boyfriend; oh boy,” you didn’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”
***
What next then?
Will it be the same pattern over and over again?
What are you really up to?

What is your life-worst-Case-scenario?
1.No longer having kind-understanding-loving-etc-bf When you were in a relationship with this kind of guy for six years and gave up on him. When you were already feeling comfort and secure with him. Where he really loves you, understands you. Where you feel like he was the only person in the whole wide world that can take you as you are, both your good and bad qualities, unconditionally. With him, you can totally be yourself. With him you can talk about anything your mouth wishes to chirp. And after you can no longer have those things, you start to really miss those..
2. Graduate from schools and start ‘losing’ your friends Remember the time back then in schools, colleges, or universities? When there were some who really come to the schools to really seeking for knowledge, and there were others who simply come meeting, gossiping, and hanging out with friends. Which one are you? Yes, having lots of friend really is a wonderful thing. But as soon as you graduate, would you still have those moments? Well, you are one hell of a lucky person if you are still able to share those moments of joy!
3. Your very best friend is living in another far-isolated’-town (peace!) You are a very talkative and a real extrovert person. You are barely able to keep things to yourself. You have a very kind-hearted-wise best friend for over ten years who lives far far away, the one who really understands you. The one with every word that come out from her mouth feels like water in a desert. They calm you down and give you hope. Though you know she is always be there for you every time you need her, but still you can resist yourself from saying ‘gosh..why can’t u be accessible for a ym ! ?’
4. You live alone (in a place where you can’t even have Pizza Hut delivered) Ok, you and your parents live in a different city. You have been living dependently for almost ten years. Not exactly alone and dependent actually. You used to be living with your siblings, cousins, aunts, or whoever. But as time goes by most of them left town and there you are, wandering alone..feeling all alone in a small room in a quiet house where most of the resident are of the opposite sex.
5. You have no permanent job and desperate of having one You have graduated for over a year but you still haven’t got fix job since you left the previous one. You know you should have tried harder. There is no more to say, you should seek for it harder!
6. You chose to be fully committed with someone, not with the one you love For the very first time in your life, you fall in love, truest love, deepest love, so much in love to an amazing the one. You never felt that way before. The one you have been waiting and wanting for since. Where he got everything you have ever really wanted in a guy. Yes, he got it all. But you’re just being too paranoid and too coward to fight for it. Instead, you chose to be with someone else, try your best, hope everything will turn fine, and wishes love will lead its way.Amien.
7. You are struggling with yourself Have you ever felt that your whole life is a complete mess?? Where you keep making lots of similar mistakes over and over again. Thinking that you are never good enough as a person, a friend, a future wife, a best friend, a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, an aunt, a colleague, or even a social creature (since you never donating money for the tsunami or quake’s victims). And most of all, you are never good enough as your God’s creature.